The Walls Have Ears
Things That Would Be True If We Had A Legal Department
After being awarded the Herculean task of bringing
Stanley Kubrick's "A.I." to the big screen, Steven Spielberg assured
everyone that he would guarantee staying true to Kubrick's vision
by having Kubrick's corpse propped up on the set every day.
After American Express erected a billboard of Lili
Taylor on Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood police notified The Sixth
Day producers that they could not erect a billboard with co-star
Michael Rapaport's face on it within 100 yards of the Taylor billboard.
A famous urban legend has been squashed with the revelation
that the little "dead" boy standing behind the curtain in a freeze-frame
of Three Men and a Baby was actually a very young, unemployed Haley
Joel Osment looking for acting tips from Steve Guttenberg.
Documentarian Ken Burns, who never met 100 hours of
Public Broadcating airtime he didn't like, has announced his next
miniseries, 2001. Burns will chronicle the year's events by recording
non-stop from a video camera duct-taped to the top of his house.
This will serve as a chance for Burns to make up for his incomplete
docu-effort, 1976, which ended with Bicentennial looters stealing
his camera. PBS announced that it will air all 365 days of footage
from '2001' sometime in early 2002.
Accepting lthe Hollywood truism that lightning never
strikes twice, Sam Mendes and Alan Ball, Oscar-winning director
and writer of American Beauty, have announced they will collaborate
once again on their next project-a remake of American Beauty.
Angelina Jolie's next project will be the suspiciously
titled, "SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE WITH HER BROTHER".