Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 1 - Jumping Out Of Windows, Wearing Fancy Clothes

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"Hill" Is "Notting" Special

Let me get this straight-The Truman Show was about a normal guy who was, unwittingly, a celebrity. EDTV was about a normal guy aware of his celebrity status. And now, Notting Hill, which stars Julia Roberts as, basically, Julia Roberts, the world's most recognizable actress, is about how famous people are normal folk like you and me. If famous people die in threes, hopefully the same applies to this "idea" for a film, and we won't be subjected to these celebrity pity parties anymore.

Wanted: For Impersonating Woody AllenThe film is not without its redeeming facets. A crew of secondary characters provide all of the humor, taking the heat off Hugh & Julia to wring a laugh out of the audience. Then again, expectations have to be low watching scenes with punchlines like the tired fossil, "You know what big feet mean?" (pause for Hugh Grant to give baffled, stammering response)

"Big shoes."

Har de har har.

On the Richard Curtis scripting scale, this is a distant third behind Four Weddings And A Funeral or The Tall Guy (Emma Thompson / Jeff Goldblum-rent it), yet a far cry better than Bean:The Movie.

Oh, and for the fellows who are considering this as a date movie compromise-two words: No Nudity.


Things that I will never fully understand and can never be justified to me no matter how much explaining is done.

This Thing In Wild Wild West

One Monkey's Opinion

Directed By Dario Argento

For those nights when you have a craving for Italian Goth gore that tiptoes the line between art and exploitation. Terrible acting, led by a pre-Labyrnth Jennifer Connelly pulling a Tony Danza and playing a character named Jennifer, and the cheesiest hair metal soundtrack since Europe's "The Final Countdown". Hallucination scenes play like outtakes of "Hungry Like The Wolf".

Fun Drinking Game: When you hear Jennifer Connely's real voice, and not the Italian woman they chose to loop for her, drink.

Did I mention Donald Plesance plays a wheelchair bound scientist whose only companion is a razor weiding monkey? You may now head for the video store.

DVD features Argento commentary.

Also By Argento

The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)
Trauma (1992)
Two Evil Eyes (1990)
Phantom Of The Opera (1998)
Tenebre (1982)
Inferno (1980)
The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1969)

Countdown To Fear

July 16th


Gratuitous Asia Argento Photo

An Open Plea
To Matthew Lillard

Whoever said you
were the next Jim
Carrey lied. Stop
trying so hard.



I Demand A Recount

What We Reap, We Sow
Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, Magic, Bride Of Chucky


A Father & Son Conversation


A Gallery Of Incomprehensibility

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