Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 9 - The Girls Are Not That Pretty But We Don't Care
Your Monthly Dose Of Cynicism

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Girls Don't Die
Sauce Tarte's Lament For The Girls With The Most Cake

Here's my problem with Boys Don't Cry:

There's a trend, and I'm not sure why, to destroy all "bad-girl" female characters in movies. Generally speaking, these are also the most interesting female roles because they are strong women with a depth that pansy-ass hollywood types are deeply lacking. These "bad girls" are more likely than not to be, somehow, sexually askew. It's part of their charm; part of their overall tragedy.

The hell, you say! Boys Don't Cry was based on a true story! It really happened that way so why change the ending? That's not my point. What I'm asking is this: What is it that caused this story to be produced over any other? What is it about this particular type of tragedy that draws huge crowds? Surely it's not because the audience entirely empathizes with having a "sexual identity crisis". (Maybe your mom went to this movie to decide whether or not she really wanted a penis but my mom didn't. My mom was hoping that the cute little dyke would live - God bless her!)

My favorite female characters on film, whether they're hot sexy nightmares or not, almost always go down (no pun intended). Why can't a lesbian on film live to talk about it? Why can't slutty girls be left to slut around to their hearts content? Why can't bad girls go on being bad? What I'm really arguing is that more of these tough little lesbos and trashy little tramps go unpunished. Just because they're hot doesn't mean they should suffer for it.

Some of my favorite cinematic slut-cakes appear in the following films:

Boys Don't Cry, Betty Blue, Last Exit to Brooklyn, Throne of Blood, Ran, High Art, The Passion of Joan of Arc, Not Thelma and Louise (These women were both lame dumbasses), Angel Baby, Metropolis, the Alien movies, The Violent Years, The Grifters, Blade Runner, The Blue Angel, The Devil is a Woman, Diabolique, Jules and Jim, Contempt, Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!, any James Bond movie, most older Disney movies, Dangerous Liasons, La Femme Nikita, The Ice Storm, Sweetie, Go, My Life to Live, Repulsion, Lost Highway, The Last Seduction, Romeo is Bleeding, Cry Baby, Celine & Julie Go Boating, Amateur, Detour.


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