RTC's Insider Blows Smoke Up Your Ass
The holidays are that special time of the year when you have to
suffer through days on end with relatives that you wouldn't give
the time of day to if you passed them on the street. Shorty decided
he should spread a little of that joy and love around by subjecting
our dear readers to his spiteful grandfather. For the sake of anonymity,
we'll call him, Grumpy Ol' Curmudgeon.
An Insider's View
By Grumpy Ol' Curmudgeon
Considering that it has taken The Insider four weeks to
earn the $22 million that the Pokémon movie made in
its first two days of release, chances are good that you haven't
seen this one yet. What the blazes are you waiting for? Get in your
car! Now, dang nabbit! Before this one quietly slips away.
Even with my trick ear, I can already hear you bitching from over
here. You're whining that it's supposed to be really long. Well
obviously length didn't stop you from seeing Titanic eighteen
times, and this movie doesn't... uh... what's that word I'm looking
for?... oh yeah... SUCK.
Mr. Pacino does inevitably slip into well-worn Yelling Guy shoes
by the end of the flick, but Christopher Plummer is simply amazing
as Mike Wallace, and with those Special Makeup Effects, Russell
Crowe looks almost as sexy as I did when I was a young stallion.
It kind of reminds me of the time...
At this point we had to cut him off - Gramps had already knocked
back his fifth mug of eggnog. The "sexy" comment was bad enough,
but he was about to get into story about how Tippi Hedren couldn't
keep her hands off him, and we simply couldn't be that cruel our
Crowe hears the opening weekend box office numbers.
Did somebody call for a Plummer?
Al Pacino yelling... surprise.