Of Working Days
How Arnold Schwarzenegger Is The Kiss Of Death To Female
Don't get us wrong. We love the Robin Tunney and we want to see
her in quality projects for a long time. So where some might see
November's Arnold vs. Satan "Quien es más macho?" slugfest
End Of Days as the Tunney's chance to break off her very
own chunk of Super-Hype, RTC has done some snooping into the career
paths of former Arnie sidekicks, and somebody needs to call Anthony
Edwards... fast! Because the flatline's so bright, we gotta wear
THE TERMINATOR (1984)
Ex-queen of the world Linda Hamilton followed this sci-fi opus with
a monkey movie. Normally, this gets props from us, but the movie
was King Kong Lives and even we have standards. Can next
be seen in Leprechaun 5: In The Hood. (seriously. you can
check.) We can easily imagine Ms. Hamilton reminding her agent that
Arnold said he'd be back.
Unwilling to be typecast as the hapless female sidekick, Rae Dawn
Chong decided to expand her artistic palette with the high-fivin'-at-Harvard
laugh riot, Soul Man. This left her so scarred she could
only find work as HERSELF in father Tommy's smoke-em-if-you-got-em
epic, Far Out Man. And don't forget a fresh-faced Alyssa
Milano who still has not met a straight-to-video script she didn't
THE RUNNING MAN (1987)
Maria Conchita Alonso was so convincing as the Eve to Arnold's Adam
that she was cast in a Predator movie. Predator 2. The one
without Arnold. The one with Morton Downey, Jr. and Ruben Blades.
RED HEAT (1988)
Jim Belushi was not Arnold's female sidekick; however, he too has
suffered from the Schwarzenegger curse.
TOTAL RECALL (1990)
Rachel Ticotin did one bad movie (One Good Cop) and will
rise from the ashes in 1999's TV miniseries, "Aftershock". And yes,
we all know Sharon Stone's storied career. But after seeeing Gloria,
we predict she will soon become one of those stars that are famous
for being famous.
KINDERGARTEN COP (1990)
Pamela Reed got two shots at beating the Schwarzengger curse (also
Junior) and all she has to show for it is Gregory Nava's
Why Do Fools Fall In Love?, which we can only presume she
played the white lady.
TRUE LIES (1994)
Jamie Lee Curtis' career didn't need a boost from Arnold, but hey,
how about a little help for Dr. Juno Skinner (as played by the recklessly
vacant Tia Carrere)? Don't worry, she'll show all of them when her
new series, "Relic Hunter" cleans up in syndication.
JINGLE ALL THE WAY (1996)
If you think Rita Wilson's eleven film career is based on acting
craft and skill, then we want to know why Peter Scolari's wife isn't
getting any work. Not even Arnold can stop the power of the Gump.