Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 6- Your Poetic Epiphany Of Self-Resignation

Mission Statement
About RTC
Spanking The Monkey
Links

Search this site


Select an Issue

 

PDF Files
Page One
Page Two
Page Three
Page Four
Page Five
Page Six
Page Seven
Page Eight
Page Nine
Page Ten

Requires Acrobat 3.0 or later
Dowload Acrobat



Subscribe to our mailing list for the latest news and updates


Movie Sties By Dies

If you say dies (short for diesel), our newest contributor doesn't have street cred, then watch out, 'cause she'll cut all of you bitches. Oh yeah, "Sties" is ghetto slang for styles, you white-ass playa-haters.

Lemonade: the best muthafuckin' drink to drink at the movies (other than a forty of OE). It has to be the big ass size and extra watery, youz knows what's Ize saying MOFO!!!! Those BITCHES put lots of ice cubes in it and that's how I like it. Except when it mixes with the fake-ass muthafuckin' butter from the popcorn and it makes your ass burp and shit.

I want to testify about my most muthafuckin' embarassing moment in a movie theater. It's all about the lemonade. I saw An Ideal Husband in some pitiful candy-ass art house movie theater, yo I was straight chillin' with my posse in the balcony, and had just ate the fuck out of some popcorn and shit. I turned to say something to my BITCHES and let out a huge burp and the entire audience turned and looked at me and shit. I was about to cut them bitches in the audience.

I remember when my crib didn't have no mutherfuckin' VCR (until my dad traded one for the crizack).

The only movies my ass walked out on were Toys and Pulp Fiction. Or maybe it was that wack-ass shit Reservoir Dogs. I walked out on Toys because one of the BITCHES in the movie ate a mayonnaise sandwich with vitamins in it and that shit was WACK. My ass just didn't like Reservoir Dawgs. I've done that bad shit in movie theaters, all you candy ass bitches know I have. I once laid down the Benjamins for 4 twelve-year old punk-ass BITCHES (you KNOW what I'm sayin') tickets so they could get into a PG-13 movie (Scream). Another time I bought chinese food and shit in the muthafuckin' food court and brought that shit into the movie, and bitches kept saying out loud that "GOD DAMN! It smells like chinese food!" Ain't no thang. I've never seen Star Wars and shit. Fuck all y'all. Ain't no thang. I got ONE thing to say to you bitches out there: You better BACK that ass up!

Peazz

 

For more of your muthafuckin' lemonade needs,
www.geocities.com/NapaValley/5255/his.html

 

 
Mission Statement | About | Spanking The Monkey | Links
Issue 8 | Issue 7.5 | Issue 7 | Issue 6 | Issue 5 | Issue 4 | Issue 3 | Issue 2 | Issue 1

Please direct any questions or problems with this website to jonmichaels@earthlink.net