Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 6- Your Poetic Epiphany Of Self-Resignation

Mission Statement
About RTC
Spanking The Monkey

Search this site

Select an Issue


PDF Files
Page One
Page Two
Page Three
Page Four
Page Five
Page Six
Page Seven
Page Eight
Page Nine
Page Ten

Requires Acrobat 3.0 or later
Dowload Acrobat

Subscribe to our mailing list for the latest news and updates

The Lord Of The Rings Casting Call


Frodo Baggins
Played by Elijah Wood

A hobbit and cousin to Bilbo. He elects to be the Ring-bearer in the quest to destroy the One Ring.

Samwise "Sam" Gamgee
Played by Sean Astin

Frodo's hobbit friend / servant / gardener who goes on the quest to help and protect Frodo.

Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck
Played by Dominic Monaghan

A young hobbit friend of Frodo's who accompanies him on the quest.

Peregrin "Pippin" Took
Played by Billy Boyd

Another young hobbit friend who also goes on the quest. Both Pippin and Merry grew up on the fantastic tales of Bilbo which probably lead to their desire for adventure.

Gandalf the Grey
(Mithrandir, the Grey Pilgrim, Stormcrow)
Played by Ian McKellen

A powerful and ancient wizard who originally convinced Bilbo to help out the dwarves in their quest to regain Lonely Mountain, and later convinced Frodo of the danger of the One Ring. He constantly battles against the evil of Sauron.

(Strider, Elessar, Longshanks)
Played by Viggo Mortensen

Captain of the Dúnedain, wandering rangers who fight evil, he is the heir of Isildur, last King of Gondor, who died 3000 years before, after being betrayed by the One Ring.

Played by Sean Bean

Eldest son of Denethor, Steward of Gondor. He is a brave warrior and captain, but believes that strength is the ultimate virtue.

Played by John Rhys-Davies

A dwarf and son of Glóin, one of the dwarves who with Bilbo took back Lonely Moutain.

Played by Orlando Bloom

An elf and son of Thranduil, the King of Mirkwood who had imprisoned the dwarves and Bilbo years before.



(the Enemy, the Dark Lord, the Red Eye, the Lord of the Rings)

An ancient evil sorcerer who has existed in many forms since the First Age. He is the lord of Mordor, the evil land, master of orcs and the Black Riders. He made the One Ring and all the other rings to enslave all of Middle-Earth during the Second Age.

The Nine Black Riders
(Ringwraiths, Nazgűl)

Evil servants of Sauron corrupted by the Nine Rings of Men. In their true form they are completely invisible and without shape except for two glowing red eyes. The usually appear cloaked all in black and their coming makes most people paralyzed with fear.

(Sméagol, Slinker, Stinker)
Voice by Andy Serkis

A hobbit completely corrupted by his possession of the One Ring for 500 years and turned into a dark and evil thing that dwelt in the darkest, deepest caves of the Misty Mountains until Bilbo took the Ring from him.

Bilbo Baggins
Played by Ian Holm

A well-to-do hobbit who left his quiet home with Gandalf and twelve dwarves to take back Lonely Mountain from Smaug the Dragon. He discovered the One Ring deep in the goblin caves of the Misty Mountains. Later he gave everything including the Ring to Frodo before leaving to live with the elves.

Elrond Half-Elven

The master of Rivendell and father of Arwen. He is considered one of the wisest individuals on Middle-Earth, and so it is at the Council of Elrond that the fate of the One Ring is decided.

Played by Liv Tyler

An elf and daughter of Elrond who is betrothed to Aragorn.

(the Lady of Lórien, the White Lady)
Played by Cate Blanchett

A powerful and beautiful elven queen and ruler of the magical forest of Lórien.


An elf and husband of Galadriel, King of Lórien.

Saruman the White
Played by Christopher Lee

The greatest of the Order of Wizards, he has powerful control over others through the sound of his voice. He resides in Isengard, the Wizard's Tower, where he spends his time studying the Rings of Power.

Gríma Wormtongue
Played by Brad Dourif

Chief Advisor to Théoden, King of Rohan, who councils a very isolationist approach to foreign affairs, much to the consternation of the people of Rohan.


King of Rohan, the great horse warriors of the plains. In recent years he has grown very old and has isolated himself from the outside world.


Nephew of Théoden, and Third Marshal of Riddermark. Gríma has convinced Théoden that he is a traitor.

Played by Uma Thurman

Niece of Théoden and sister of Éomer, even though she has a warrior soul, she seems destined to spend her days waiting on the King.


The last Ruling Steward of Gondor, in the absence of the king. He is very noble and wise but favors his brash older son, Boromir, to his younger son, Faramir. He has a strong dislike for Gandalf, thinking that the wizard is plotting against him.

Played by Ethan Hawke

The younger son of Denethor. Despite being a brave warrior, he is much more interested in ancient lore, and shows greater wisdom that his brother. He is a friend of Gandalf, which has not helped his standing with his father.


Mission Statement | About | Spanking The Monkey | Links
Issue 8 | Issue 7.5 | Issue 7 | Issue 6 | Issue 5 | Issue 4 | Issue 3 | Issue 2 | Issue 1

Please direct any questions or problems with this website to jonmichaels@earthlink.net