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Volume 1 Issue 4 - Take A Picture Here, Take A Souvenir

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Brian CoxWill The Real Brian Cox Please Stand Up?

Pants writes:

The staff here at RTC sometimes knowingly and sometimes unwittingly procures copies of films that may or may not be legal to have in our possession. Typically, we are law-abiding citizens who honor laws that have been created to make sure that we don't see movies before their official release. Sure, this rule applies to [insert name of latest Tim Allen picture], but we were able to snag a copy of The Minus Man, the directorial debut of Hampton "Excuse-Me-While-I-Work-Without-a- Shirt-On" Fancher, toss in major roles for Owen Wilson and Janeane Garafalo with a cameo by Sheryl Crow as a booze-swilling heroin junkie (Ed. note: Whaaaaat?!?), and we are all over it like a chimp on the jack-knifed big rig spilling bananas all over the freeway.

For the most part, the movie is uneventful, with the exception of the Oscar-worthy performance by the askew landlord, an oddly familiar chap whose other work eluded us. Our crack research team sprang into action leading us to slap the backs of our collective heads when pointed out that the actor was also the headmaster in Rushmore, the dry-witted CIA-mentor in The Long Kiss Goodnight, and the original Hannibal Lecter in Mann's Manhunter. Of course, we are talking about Brian Cox, but not just any Brian Cox, the REAL Brian Cox. There are moments, where albeit the lines were written by Fancher (from the novel by Lew McCreary), when the real Brian Cox utters them, it is partly fascinating, partly chilling, and 100% riveting: "A person's mind is like a pet. Sometimes it gets loose, and sometimes it gets lost. Sometimes, it just sort of behaves itself and stays in the yard." With all due respect to the five nominees for this year's Best Actor, pull a Ving and hand it over to Brian - the REAL Brian Cox, that is.


51 Bryan Cox Linebacker-Jets

Height: 6-4
Weight: 250
Born: 2/17/68
College: Western Illinois
NFL Experience: 9 yrs.


Making snow "idiots" with you-know-who

Shorty writes:

I went to junior high and high school with Brian Cox. In fact, when I moved into the neighborhood in a suburb South of Boston during the summer of 1986, he was one of the first kids I met. If you took a particular path through the swampy woods behind my house you wound up in his backyard. We all called him Bonehead Cox. He was a "good kid" (a term that is not hard to understand but seems to be predominantly used in New England) but definitely a bonehead. What I mean to say is that he was never mean or spiteful, but he had a strong tendency to be a major screw-up. He was never very good in school, but, of course, he really never tried. He didn't have any talents per se - no sports, or drama, or band or anything. He took all the auto-shop classes that he could in high school but could never seem to keep his car running.

One incident in particular sticks in my mind as being a classic Bonehead Cox moment. All the kids in the neighborhood had to walk up to the corner to catch the bus to school in the morning. We used to tell jokes and tease each other on our way to the bus stop. One particular morning, after a heavy rain the night before, we were kicking puddles at each other trying to get anyone else wet, when Bonehead noticed a deep puddle in a sink hole. He figured that more water would get someone else VERY wet, so he ran up and jumped feet first into the puddle, completely soaking himself and his shoes. Just then the bus came and he had to spend the entire day at school in wet pants, shoes and socks. He is definitely the one true Brian Cox.


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