Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 3 - So Much To Answer For, So Sick Of Talking About It

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The Arizona FamilyHats Off To Dead Guys!
RTC's Salute To Trey Wilson Or His Name Ain't Nathan Arizona

What does it take to be one of our favorite movie stars ever? One-you work with visionary directors. Two-your comic timing is so sharp you could put an eye out. Three-you've played the dad in a Pat Benatar video. As you might suspect, these are big shoes to fill, but Trey Wilson hits the trifecta every time. Wilson's performance as Nathan Arizona in the 1987 Barry Sonnenfeld Demo Reel stands tall in the pantheon of Great Comic Performances. As a tip of the cap to the actor who died of cerebral hemorraghing in 1990, we bring you Trey Wilson's shining moment, The Investigation Scene...........


The room is filled with policemen milling about in several different uniforms: local police, state troopers, plainclothes detectives. The original POLICEMAN is leading NATHAN to a table where a white-smocked technician is preparing inkpad and exemplar sheets. The dialogue is urgent, rapid-fire and overlapping.

POLICEMAN: Mr. Byrum here can take your exemplars while you talk.

MR. BYRUM has taken NATHAN's right hand and is rolling its fingers onto the inkpad.

BYRUM: Just let your hand relax; I'll do the work.

NATHAN jerks his hand away.

NATHAN: What is this?! I didn't steal the damn kid! Two men in conservative suits are approaching.

POLICEMAN: Sir, these men are from the FBI-

NATHAN (bewildered): Are you boys crazy?! All I know is I wake up this morning with my wife screaming-

BYRUM (patiently): We just need to distinguish your prints from the perpetrators', if they left any.

NATHAN: Course! I know that!

FBI 1: Sir, we have an indication you were born Nathan Huffhines; is this correct?

NATHAN: Yeah, I changed m'name; what of it?

FBI 2: Could you give us an indication why?

NATHAN: Yeah, would you buy furniture at a store called Unpainted Huffhines?

FBI 1: All right, I'll get to the point-

UNIFORMED COP: Was the child wearing anything when he was abducted?

NATHAN: No one sleeps nekkid in this house, boy! He was wear-

FBI 1: I'm asking the questions here, officer.

COP: If we're gonna put out an APB we need a description of the-

NATHAN: He was wearin' his-

FBI 2: It's just that we're better trained to intervene in crisis situations (to NATHAN). What was he wearing?

NATHAN: A dinner jacket! Wuddya think, he was wearing his damn jammies!

FBI 2 (to cop): The child was wearing his jammies. Are you happy?

FBI 1: Do you have any disgruntled employees?

NATHAN: Hell, they're all disgruntled! I ain't runnin' a damn daisy farm!

COP: What did the pyjamas-

NATHAN: My motto is do it my way or watch your butt!

COP: What did the pyjamas-

FBI 1: So you think it might have been an employee?

NATHAN: Don't make me laugh. Without my say-so they don't piss with their pants on fire.

COP: What did the pyjamas look like?

FBI 1: (pained): Officer-

NATHAN (bellowing): I dunno, they were jammies! They had Yodas'n shit on 'em!


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