Dad, Can I Have A DVD Player?
Your Invite To Insight
It's no secret around the RTC office that we love midgets.
(Editor's Note:Realizing that people of genetically-challenged
stature take great offense to terms like "midget", I have chosen
to interrupt and assure you that RTC is very sensitive to all special-interest
groups and apologize for the devil- may-care start to what promises
to be a fairly entertaining article. Our apologies.)
We've always had a tiny place in our heart reserved for their comic
(Editor's Note:Please excuse the connotation that any sort of affection
would be proportional to size of aforementioned small people. Also,
we should point out that not all small people are funny.)
In fact, when it comes to Bang-For-The-Buck, little films like
Terry Gilliam's Time Bandits manage to dwarf so- called "EVENT"
(Editor's Note:Sorry about the word, "little". Oh, yes, and apologies
for the unintentional "dwarf" reference.)
When Criterion released the DVD of Time Bandits with Director
Commentary, we jumped at the opportunity to hear ribald tales of
those tiny freaks falling out of trees and looking up women's dresses.
(Editor's Note:Okay, that's crossing the line. I suggest we end
this before things become litigious and move onto the morsels of
Making-Of info. For the record, RTC considers itself a Friend of
Little People in good standing and apologizes for stepping on any
(Editor's Note:That's not to say little people's tiny digits are
easier targets for normal people.)
(Editor's Note:Not that the munchkins aren't normal.)
The World of Time Bandits According To Gilliam
- When Agamemnon pulls off his helmet to reveal Sean Connery,
the original script reads:
"HELMET COMES OFF TO REVEAL SEAN CONNERY (OR AN ACTOR OF EQUAL
OR CHEAPER STATURE)"
- The footage of the Titanic sinking is actual footage "borrowed"
from the film, A Night To Remember. The clip was then colorized
and slowed down.
- Cost of film to make - 5 million dollars
- Sir Ralph Richardson (Supreme Being) would reject lines in script,
saying, "GOD would not say that."
- Evil's headpiece is an homage to Giger's alien face-hugger.
- At test screenings, young boys often said their favorite part
was when the parents blew up.
- Gilliam originally wanted Jonathan Pryce to play Evil.
- The shooting was so notorious for going long that the crew printed
shirts that read, "OVERTIME BANDITS".
- At the 55 minute, 4 second-mark of the film, there is a monkey.
What We Think About When We Think Small
UNDER THE RAINBOW, Billy Barty, midget wrestling, dwarf tossing,
lawn gnomes, Keebler elves, Munchkins, The Lollipop Kids, DORF on
GOLF, David Rappaport, Tinkerbell, Herve Villechaize, midget car
racing, Verne Troyer, horse jockeys, THE SECRET ADVENTURES OF TOM
THUMB, TWIN FALLS IDAHO, GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, Santa's helpers, Oompa-Loompas,
ELF POWER's "A Dream In Sound", RANDY NEWMAN's "Little Criminals",
THE DWARVES' "Lesbian Nun", TOO SHORT's "Born To Mack"
What My Ex-Roommate Thinks About When He Thinks Small
20. Anne Cook (a girl we went to jr.high with)
19. Mr. Twa (lunchroom monitor)
18. This little Spanish woman who came up to me in Madrid and gave
me directions to a place I was only thinking about.
16. That movie about the midgets at some hotel, I think it was called
The Rainbow Hotel or something like that.
14. Small shoes
13. The Wizard of Oz
12. Lucky Charms
11. The Hobbit
10. Time Bandits
9. The word, stump
8. The color green
7. A pair of purple shoes I once owned, but didn't understand why
I bought when I got them home.
6. The Guinness Book of World Records
4. Santa Claus
3. How tall I am
2. A pipe I bought at the Renaissance Fair
Long On Story, Short On People
RTC'S Favorite Vertically Challenged Books
1. Sleeping In Flame by Jonathan Carroll
2. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
3. The Rings Triology by J.R.R. Tolkien
4. The Dork of Cork by Chet Raymo (Made into the movie, Frankie
5. Son of the Circus by John Irving
6. Mendel Dwarf by Simon Mawer
7. Geek Love by Katharine Dunn